Because all women have walked to their car in the dark, keys clutched tight in hand, one poking out between two fingers.
Because when I go out to bars or clubs, I have to think about whether what I’m wearing is too suggestive, instead of putting on whatever I please.
Because I feel the need to apologize when I’m not wearing makeup or my hair hasn’t been washed, or when I’m generally looking anything other than flawless.
Because there was nothing I could do about the man who touched me inappropriately in the middle of Gillette Stadium as I waited for my then-boyfriend to come out of the bathroom. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STADIUM.
Because there was also nothing I could do when a man touched me inappropriately in the middle of a crowded street, his arm around his girlfriend. Because retaliating in the way I wanted to…
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I never understood why I had to keep going when everything around me kept hurting me. I have always thought that regardless of whether I live or die people will move on and grow and live. I would stop nothing with my death. I still think that, it might be right but not completely. I read a book today that kind of changed that view for me. Divergent by Veronica Roth is that book. I always have thought my death would probably be best for the people around me but that is not true. Although it might make some aspects of it different that doesn’t mean its better. I should live because even though for me it hurts to live and breathe everytime I wake up I have to keep going. I have to get up and live that day because I don’t know if that day will be the best day ever. I have to wake up for the little moments that make life happy. The fact that you wake up the next day even after you have gone through hell before makes you brave. Sometimes dying makes things easier for you but it never makes it better for others. I have to live for those little moments that make me feel happy. People can say life is beautiful but its not really. Life is 70% pain and 30% happiness. Life is not beautiful but the happiness that comes from it is. I live for that 30%. It is not easy but when you get it its beautiful . So in the words of Veronica Roth ”Be Brave”, it may not seem like it now but its worth it.
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